What are the American standards of beauty? As an African American can we ever fit that standard? Can we? Do you want to? What does that mean to you?

American Beauty – Alan Ball 1999

A friend of mine asked these questions on Facebook and I have been thinking about them ever since. As a mother of two little girls who have different fathers and looks, I am always aware that they will be compared. Hopefully the comparison will be, “Hey, you are just a funny, beautiful and intelligent as your sister.” Alas, I live in Brooklyn, and know first handed just how ignorant people can be, so I have to devise a way to prepare my girls (without jading them), to deal with other people’s “stuff.”

The American standard of beauty is ever changing but does not now, nor has it ever included African Americans, who along with other non-white racial groups, are always on the periphery of beauty. I would like for my children to see themselves as included in a diversity of beauty. I am not sure that I want to be the American standard of beauty.  However, I would like to see all version of African diaspora beauty represented in the media, especially, African-American media.

I believe it is my people’s responsibility to promote to and for themselves every version of our beauty possible. Our media (do we have one that hasn’t been co-opted by self-hate) should be pioneers in offering to the world the best of our image. But that doesn’t happen so much of the time. Essence and Ebony do a good job of representing the various skin colors we descendants of the African diaspora come in, but there is always room for improvement. Especially, when it comes to the premier Black television station, Black Entertainment Television. Maybe it has something to do with the name. Maybe they would have been better of calling themselves Diaspora Entertainment Television. As such since the “media” hasn’t consistently taken up the cause of  normalizing “African” beauty, parents are left to fend for themselves in providing a wealth of positive experiences when concerning beauty.

Relaying to my children that we are African American and just as beautiful as any other ethnic/racial group is of the utmost importance.  It means being able to turn on the T.V. and see positive images that resemble them/us. I do not mean the neck gyrating, slick talking, relaxed hair version of black femininity so often touted as “Black Beauty.” I am talking about the natural, feminine, beautiful, intelligent version of blackness that doesn’t have to yell to be noticed, nor does it have to undress to be seen. That is not possible right now today, so we don’t pay to watch cable T.V. I am very careful of what my daughters visually consume because the image is a powerful tool. We watch a lot of reruns on Netflix and we also watch lots of movies. I put extra effort into finding books with African American/Diaspora heroines and I always make sure that they are exposed to the African presence in the arts and sciences. This can be a tough job at times. It underscores the inherent inequities of our society. At the end of the day though, regardless of the inequities, my desire is for my girls to think they are MAINSTREAM even if it isn’t true.

What say you on this topic? How would you answer these questions?

The race construct in American is tainted in ways that affect our identities in extreme ways. As the mother of a bi-racial child, I am very interested in seeing the entire movie.

It is Truthful Tuesday here at adiaha.com and I happen to have been asked to review several new products from Suave.  I am grateful for the opportunity and actually had fun trying out a vlog format for the review.

Enter to WIN!

The winner will be picked using Random.org on June 30, 2009 at 3 P.M., will be notified via email and has 48 hours to claim their prize.

Generally, there are 5 ways to enter. Each equals one entry.  On day one you can enter up to 5 times, by doing all of the requested tasks. Each day after you may enter one time by TWEETing the giveaway. The first entry is mandatory and if it is not completed will invalidate all other entries.

1 – Watch my Youtube about the Suave products and leave a comment telling me what my name means.

2 – Visit Suave and enter their contest. Leave a comment stating you did so.

3 – Subscribe to my RSS Feed and leave a comment telling me you did so.

4 – Follow my site through the Google Friend Connect widget and leave a comment telling me you did so.

5 – Follow me on Twitter and Tweet the Giveaway.  You can use this verbage  Adiaha is giving away three great NEW skin care products from Suave. Visit http://bit.ly/SvkpQ NOW to enter. Thank you and please Retweet! Leave a comment with the link to the Tweet. If you are not sure how to do this please follow these instructions. Once you’ve Tweeted, under the message you tweeted will be in italics a line that tells you how long ago you tweeted. Click on that line and you will be transported to your tweet all by itself. Copy the link in the web browser url address bar. If my directions make no sense (it is me not you) then just leave me a message with your twitter name and I will find it for you!

Godspeed!!

I don’t have a truth about a product to give today, so I offer a truth about myself.

My first pregnancy was wonderful and not too traumatizing. In retrospect, the birth was saved by can do attitude. The doctor had checked out after giving me pitocin (ouch) and was ready to give me a c-section at the first chance he got. I told the student attendee, “Look, I go three pushes left in me, I’ll push you pull, ready?” She just looked at me, moved in place and shook her head.” I pushed and she well she did something because Alana popped out.  She was blue and had been sitting stuck in my birth canal. She was 21 inches long and 9 lb.13 oz. A big baby for my round but petite frame. I am so glad she was not a c-section and that she was just a little blue. I am grateful for the experience, but it was not one I wanted repeated.

I gave birth to my second child Asherah at home. It was a natural choice after my first birth. I did not worry about anything because my thought about motherhood at this point in my life was, hey I did it already and I did it well.

I hired a midwife and my friend offered to be my doula. I had my birthing team together and my belly grew and so did my sugar levels. I was becoming diabetic. I instantly stopped eating sugar and carbs. I juiced greens as often as I could stand and my sugar levels returned to normal after about a week. I tracked my sugar levels twice daily and did not have any more complications.

My water broke the afternoon of September 22nd, a whole 3, almost 4 weeks ahead of my October 19th due date. I showered and because we had no food in the fridge, went to the food co-op. By the time we payed for the groceries I was experiencing contractions that made me stop and catch my breath. We raced home. I sat in the back trying to keep the bumps from making the contraction hurt more.

I called my doula as soon as we got back to the house and then I called my midwife. My S.O. put on our playlist and we just sat around until I began vocalizing. My doula arrived first, she lives close by and then the midwife arrived soon after. Whew, everyone arrived and literally 15 minutes later I was pushing. It has been said I pushed 4 times and then on the 5th push Asherah popped out! 7 lb. 4 oz she was absolutely beautiful and healthy!

The entire process took about 5 hours.  Asherah and I nursed and then slept. It was a quick and momentous day. I will always feel good about the summer fall equinox now. It was a good day.

They taste good too!

I was invited to preview Stride Rite’s new 2009 Fall styles. What really impressed me was that there were so many brands under their banner. Robeez, Saucony, Sperry Top-Sider and a new Jessica Simpson line for the “maturing pre-teen.”

Just as impressive is their new technology called the STEP system which is designed to support children through four stages of walking. The Hospital of Special Surgery has been working with Stride Rite on a study which fueled the design of the shoes for the line. Preliminary results have shown that the best way to support muscular development is to allow children’s feet touch the surface on which they walk. It was also determined that shoes for children should be flexible, allowing most of baby’s feet to move as it needs.

Barefoot is best and shoes should be flexible! Wow isn’t that exactly the opposite of what the rules were when we were children? I remember the shoes that used to get bronzed where always a hard leathered bottom boot that kept your foot from rolling about and forced you to lift your feet high. I think my grandmother had my first pair somewheres. Have I just dated myself?

The STEP system has four stages, each :

• Soft Motion
  Basic baby booty offering protection and flexibility
• Sensory Response Technology (SRT)
  Eco-friendly, self molding insole for maximum comfort
  Sensory pods which which assist in keeping the foot in direct contact with surface.
• Natural Motion System (NMS)
  Lightweight midsole
  Cradled footbed for balance and stability
  Deep flex grooves for maximum flexibility
• Toddler Tech (TT)
  Lightweight midsole
  Airbag outsole, which provides ultimate cushioning
  Outsole designed for optimal traction

In celebration of Stride Rite and the first time I was invited to preview a product as a blogger, I am sponsoring a GIVEAWAY! $50 Gift Certificate to any Stride Rite Store.

GIVEAWAY RULES

Winner will be picked using Random.org and will be picked June 9th by 5 p.m.

The Giveaway will end promptly at  1 p.m. June 9, 2009.
There are 4 way to enter.
Each way equals one entry.
On day one you can enter up to 4 times, each day after you may enter one time only You can TWEET the giveaway.

Go to the Stride Rite website and leave me a comment telling me which shoe is your favorite.

Follow my site through the Google Friend Connect widget leave a comment telling me you did so.

Subscribe to my RSS Feed leave a comment telling me you did so.

Follow me on Twitter (http://twitter.com/adiaha) and/or Tweet this Giveaway and leave a comment with the link to the Tweet. “Adiaha is Giving Away a $50 Gift Certificate to Stride Rite!” Go Quickly to http://adiaha.com/stride-rite to enter.”
Once you’ve Tweeted, under the message you tweeted will be in italics a line that tells you how long ago you tweeted. Click on that line and you will be transported to your tweet all by itself. Copy the link in the web browser url address bar. If my directions make no sense (it is me not you) then just leave me a message with your twitter name and I will find it for you!

Because Stride Rite’s online store limits where they ship, I am limiting entries to the following locations: the 50 United States, APO/FPO, Guam, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands.

From now on Tuesday will be known as Truthful Tuesday at adiaha.com. Each Tuesday, my post will involve telling you the truth, as I see it about something. This can be a truth about myself, my family, my neighbors, you, a product review, a rant, a poem or just a statement.

Let’s get Truthful Tuesday started!

I live in clutter. It is so bad that the other day as I was de-cluttering my dresser I found a book entitled Clear Your “Clutter with FENG SHUI.” Yeah, I sighed too. I mean really, what kind of ironic world do I occupy. I made a promise to myself to get better organized. A fellow parent at my daughter’s school is a professional organizer and very cool person. I am going to work with her on organizing my apartment.

I feel better already. Excuse me while I call a friend to come help dig me from under piles of clutter.