Guest Blogger Mother Bear wanted to share.
Mother bears are legendary for protecting their cubs from all perceived threats…
Intelligence is not all it takes to be a successful learner. My daughter Willa started talking and walking when she was ten months old. She passed all of the appropriate developmental mild stones on time or early. She tested into the gifted and talented program for New York City public schools, got offered generous scholarships to private schools and was a happy curious child in the beginning. When I finally settled on the school that seemed best for our family I thought Willa would sail through academic success. I was completely wrong. Everything seemed to be going fine until parent teacher conferences came around. My daughter’s kindergarten teacher started hinting at problems, “Willa rushes through her work. She doesn’t pay attention and seems unhappy.” In first grade things just got worse. Her first grade teacher finally said right out, “Willa is just not getting the work something might be wrong with her.”
Mama Bears attack first, ask questions later……
“What happened to my bright child? She was brilliant when I brought her here.” The teacher backed down immediately but that did not solve the problem, my smart child was not doing well. Being the Mama Bear that I am I started to investigate. First I took Willa to an educational psychologist, who tested her for four hours over the course of three days. The results were that Willa was incredibly bright. She tested way above average in every area. So what was the problem? Why wasn’t she doing well in school? It wasn’t her IQ, the tests proved that. It wasn’t her home, I’m a teacher and she gets 110% support. I couldn’t really fault her teachers who showed genuine concern. I had to look at other things. After investigating how people learn I realized the problem was not in my daughter, the teachers or the school but in human nature.
The nature of every human being is to be different and unique. Pat Burke Guild and Stephen Garges (1998) in there book “Marching to Different Drummers” explain that every person has a unique learning style that’s independent from their intelligence. Our learning style is the way that we learn. There are general categories of learning styles. Some people learn better by seeing things, some learn better by doing. Others understand if they see the whole picture, while there are those who need to learn things one piece at a time. Then there is Howard Gardener’s theory of Multiple Intelligences, which says that people are smart in different way. Some people are smart through music, some through words; some are smart through movement and space and still others understand things in nature. These are just a few ways to define the uniqueness of learning.
My daughter Willa, like every child, has her own way of learning. Knowing this is the key to her learning success. Together with her teachers and the school I have to make sure that Willa’s learning style is included in the educational approaches used. How do we learn how our children learn? Stanley Greenspan (2007) says the way to learn how your child learns best is to notice what they get excited by or the activities that they stay interested in for long periods of time.
To all mama bears or papa bears it is up to us to find out how our children are smart. Almost every person has the ability to success at every job in this society. It is up to us to help our children find their unique gift that will allow them to succeed in all of their endeavors.
Mama Bear is a Montessori teacher, writer and artist living in Brooklyn NY.
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“Almost every person has the ability to success at every job in this society. It is up to us to help our children find their unique gift that will allow them to succeed in all of their endeavors.”
Success and outstanding achievement are two different things. Only when one knows own strength areas and works on it and the community supports it, outstanding achievement is possible. Anybody can do any job. But will they be creative is the question.
I agree. Outstanding achievement is different from success. In terms of success for our children in school, I think we hope for outstanding achievement but in the face of reality will often settle for success. I think people who feel successful in their lives are more likely to garner outstanding achievement.
“How do we learn how our children learn? Stanley Greenspan (2007) says the way to learn how your child learns best is to notice what they get excited by or the activities that they stay interested in for long periods of time.”
What that suggests to me is when a child (or adult) acts in the way described above, they are in the zone. When we are in the zone, in a flow state, we are fully engaged and “at one” with the activity. It implies we are using what we know (skills, knowledge, behaviors ) AND we are somewhat challenged, so we are learning more. Moreover, in the flow state, we are working/playing to our strengths, our innate talents and gifts and virtues. When we work to our strengths, we do our best work and we will will improve.
That’s how whole socialization process falls down. We try to fix everyone and put them through the same mincer, so their natural talents and abilities get lost in the grind. Our systems focus on improving our weaknesses which will never be as strong as our strengths.
Willa knows her strengths – what does she like to do best?
Thank you for sharing your story. Your words are important and will resonate with all parents.
I found your blog through Twitter Moms!